The first thing a grieving husband should do is CALL THE COPS!
Husband: “My wife of 15 years is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!” Sheriff: “Height?” Husband: “I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.” Sheriff: “Weight?” Husband: “Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.” Sheriff: “Color of eyes?” Husband: “Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.” Sheriff: “Color of hair?” Husband: “Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.” Sheriff: “What was she wearing?” Husband: “Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don’t know exactly.” Sheriff: “What kind of car did she go in?” Husband: “She went in my truck.” Sheriff: “What kind of truck was it?” Husband: “A 2016 Brilliant Diesel Grey Pearlcoat Ram Limited 4X4 with 6.4 l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, backup and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB port, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires. It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.” At this point the husband started choking up. Sheriff: “Take it easy sir, we’ll find your truck!!!”
(Thanks to Ron P.)