On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes into a petrol station in a remote part of Irish countryside. Pump attendant who knows absolutely nothin abt golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. “Top of the mornin’ to yer, sir” says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick “hello” & bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. “Wat are those?, asks the attendant. “They’re called tees” replies Tiger. “Well, wat on this God’s earth are dey for?” Inquires the Irishman. “They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving”, says Tiger. “Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “Mercedes thinks of everything !”
- When I was younger the local priest told me that I was the prettiest boy he had ever seen.
- Some people call their boyfriend daddy but I call mine father