“I do so by asking them the right questions,” says the Queen. “Allow me to demonstrate.”
She phones Teresa May and says, “Madam, Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?”
Miss May responds, “It’s me, ma’am.”
“Correct. Thank you and good-bye, madam,” says the Queen. She hangs up and says, “Did you get that, Mr. Trump?”
“Yes. Thanks a lot. I’ll definitely be using that.”
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he’d better put the US envoy to Venezuela to the test. He summons Elliott Abrams to the White House and says, “Mr. Abrams, I wonder if you can answer a question for me.”
“Why, of course, sir. What’s on your mind?”
“Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Abrams hems and haws and finally asks, “Can I think about it and get back to you?” Trump agrees, and Abrams leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other envoys, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Abrams calls up Nikki Haley and asks her the question.
“Now look here, Nikki–your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother, or your sister. Who is it?” “It’s me, of course, you dumb ass,” answers Haley.
Much relieved, Abrams rushes back to the White House and exclaims, “I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It’s Nikki Haley!” And Trump replies in disgust, “Wrong, you dumb ass, it’s Teresa May!”