“Wait honey, I can explain!”[LONG]

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and was somewhat upset.

“You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children? I’m leaving you. I want a divorce!”

The husband replied ” Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.”

“Fine go ahead, she sobbed, but they’ll be the last words you ever say to me!”

And so the husband began:

“Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was thin, poorly dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days!

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night – the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments!

Since she needed a good clean up I suggested she’d take a shower. While she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years but don’t use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t use because I don’t have good taste. I went and found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, the one you don’t wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at that expensive shoe boutique and don’t use because someone at work has the same pair.”

The husband took a deep breath and continued:

“She was so grateful for my understanding and help. As I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said: ‘Please, do you have anything else that your wife don’t use?’

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