Two soldiers are returning back to base after a night out.

On the way, one of the two gentlemen has the urge to shit. He tells his comrade “Dude I really have to shit. Can we try to find somewhere quickly?” The other replies “No dude we’re gonna be late.” Our desperate soldier can’t hold it anymore so he says “I’m going in the garden here. Don’t look.” “Ok”, says the other. So this soldier proceeds to do his business. Wanting to see if everything came out ok, he took his lighter to see his newly laid creation, but he can’t find it. “What the hell are you doing? Hurry up!” “My shit just disappeared.” “Let’s go. We’ll come back in the morning. We’re gonna be late.” “Ok”, the other responds. They return to base and the next morning the shitter takes a pass to leave the base and return to the scene of the previous night’s incident. As he jumps the fence he sees and old lady. She says “What are you doing in my garden?” He replies “I threw my cigarette butt in here last night and I wanted to make sure it didn’t start a fire.” The old lady replied ”What a kind nice young man. You’re not like that asshole who shit on the turtle. It brought it inside on us!”

submitted by /u/N721UF
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