Three women die in an accident together and go to heaven.

They meet god at the door, and he says “there is only one rule in heaven. Don’t step on the turtles.”

So they go in, and sure enough there are millions and millions of turtles on the ground, and it is near impossible not to step on one.

So the first woman accidentally steps on a turtle. Saint Peter comes and chains her hand together with the hand of the ugliest man she had seen in her life.

Later, the second woman stepped on a turtle, and Saint Peter came and chained her hand to another ugly, ugly man’s hand.

The last woman was very, very careful though. She didn’t step on a turtle for months. So when the 3rd month finished without her stepping on a turtle, Saint Peter came and chained her hand to a beautiful, handsome, muscular man’s hand.

She says “do you know why we were chained up?” He replies “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a turtle.”

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