Three men die and go to hell

Three men, all addicts, die and go to hell, where they meet Satan standing atop a mountain of skulls. Satan calls out to the trio “Men, welcome to hell. To atone for your word sins, you will each spend a millennia locked in a room with your vice of voice.” The men are quickly escorted to their rooms by Satan’s henchmen. The first man, an alcoholic, arrives at his room. The door is opened by Satan himself and he is pushed into a space a few miles across lined with row after row of only the most premium vodka, rum, whiskey and gin. He is pushed in and the door locked behind him. The second man, a sex addict, is brought to another room. The door is opened and he is met by hundreds of the most beautiful women he has ever seen, all immediately willing to jump his bones. He is pushed in and the door shut behind him. The third man, a pothead and serious burnout, is brought to his room, full of the highest quality bud, piled into a mountain thousands of feet tall and miles across, with rolling papers in mile long rolls along the edge of the room. He is pushed in and the door locked behind them.

Soon enough, a decade, a century, and a millennia pass by and Satan makes his rounds to free the men. He opens the first door to see bottles strewn about and piles of thousand year old vomit everywhere, and a man passed out in his own filth. The man soon awakens, jumps up and yells “I’m sober, I swear I’m never having a drink again!”

Satan opens the second door, and immediately the man runs out, chased by a flock of horny women screaming “I’m gay! I’m gay! My dick shrivelled up and fell off three hundred years ago, I swear, I’m gay!”

Satan opens the third door, and is very surprised when the man doesn’t come out. He peers in and sees nothing but the intact mount ganja. Satan quickly ascends the mountain of dank and meets the third man at the summit. Satan asks “you had a whole mountain of the best pot in the universe, why haven’t you touched any of it?!” A single tear rolls down the mans cheek. “You didn’t give me a lighter”

submitted by /u/doug-e-fresh711
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