Three guys are drinking at a bar.

After several drinks, the first one gets up to leave. “Where do you think you’re going?” ask the others. He says, “Guys I’d love to stay but I have to cut myself off. The last time we got together, I was so drunk. When I got home, I blew chunks right on the living room floor in front of my wife and my in-laws.”

“That’s nothing,” says one of the others. “The last time we got drunk I crashed my car – into a police cruiser! I still don’t have my license back.”

“You think that’s bad?” says the last guy. “I was so drunk that I took my mistress back to my place and forgot my wife was home!”

Just then the first guy interrupts the other two. “Guys, you don’t understand. Chunks is my dog.”

submitted by /u/makeitorbreakit
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