Three friends, a turtle, a mole and a bear are drafted and have to join the army.

But neither of them want to go, so they need to provide medical proof why they can’t join.

“It’s easy for me”, says the turtle “I am slow.”He enters the examination room and when he comes out, he happily tells his friend that he is in fact too slow.

“Well”, says the mole next, “I am literally blind. How would they want me?” And he’s right. He comes out a few minutes later and hugs his friends that he doesn’t have to join the army because they don’t need a blind mole.

“Ok guys”, says the bear terrified. “Let’s face it. I am one of the biggest and most dangerous animals. I am the perfect soldier.” “I have an idea”, says the turtle slowly, “the most dangerous part of you are your teeth. Without your teeth you are not really dangerous. So if we just smash your teeth they won’t want you!” Reluctantly the bear agrees and the three friends start smashing the bears teeth.

Without teeth the bear enters the examination room and after 10 minutes comes out again with a hanging head and sad face. “So, you have to join army?”, the turtle asks carefully. The bear mumbles:”No, I’m too fat”

submitted by /u/tonidurden
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