This one is a bit of a long one so just bear with me. It is a joke commonly said among post soviet people

Stalin sits at his usual table, in the glorius kremlin studying the map of eastern germany. His pencil sitting proudly beside him. Comrade Stalin looks away for a split second, and the pencil is gone! Stalin takes out a second pencil and places it on the table. Looks the other way again and the second pencil is gone! The same story continues 3-4 times until stalin had enough. So, he calls in Beria- the chief of the NKVD.

Beria- Comrade Stalin! What have you summoned me for?

Stalin in a thick georgian accent- Comrade Beria, someone is stealing all of my pencils. Find who this fascist is that is stealing all of my pencils.

Beria- Yes! Ofcourse comrade Stalin!

Some time passed and stalin finds a drawer that is half open on the side of his desk with all of the pencils in it. He calls Beria to his office.

Beria- Good day comrade stalin! What do you want?

Stalin in a thick georgian accent says- Comrade Beria! I found all of the pencils! They were in my drawer this whole time! Cancel the search,

Beria- What do you mean comrade stalin? 700 people confessed already!

submitted by /u/isded2321
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