There was a vulture who had a rebellious son.

He would preen his feathers so they stood up, hang out with raccoons, and generally be a nuisance to the rest of the flock. Thinking that it was just a phase, his father didn’t worry too much about it and hoped that one day his son would grow up.

However, one day his son came home with terrible news: “Dad, I’ve made up my mind I’m going vegetarian!”

He could accept anything else, but that! Shocked, he threw his son out of his house.

As the months and years went by, he regretted his decision, and decided that maybe he should try to understand his son’s point of view. So he read up about the nutritional value of plants, looked up recipes, and even asked the neighbouring squirrels about what they ate.

Finally, one cold evening, he decided that it was time to try out eating plants. Peas were a good place to start- they were high in protein, like the rotting flesh he usually ate, and they were easy for him to eat with his beak. So in addition to his usual plate of roadkill, he put on a pot of peas to boil.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. He opened it and gasped with surprise- there was his son, thin as sticks and weak as water! His son collapsed into his wings, and managed to croak out,

“Dad, I’m starving. Do you have anything for me to eat?”

Crying at seeing his long-lost child after so many years, he nodded and said,

“Carrion, my wayward son! There’ll be peas when you are done.”

submitted by /u/whythecynic
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