The US Marines, Delta Force and the Harris County Sheriff’s Department are on one of those team building weekends out in the woods.
First night and the instructor says “Right guys. First night out in the woods! Your first test is to go catch your dinner. I want each team to go out and catch a rabbit!”
First up are the Marines. They put on the war paint, load up with more guns and ammo than a small African nation and go charging off into the woods hollering and screaming.
Five minutes later all hell breaks loose. Grenades, 50 calibers, tracer, you name it. And out come the Marines with the charred remains of what was once a rabbit.
“Well done guys! Now eat your dinner!”
Next up is Delta Force. They slip on the all black coveralls, the ski masks, the night vision goggles, a silenced pistol each and off they slither into the woods, hardly seen, completely silent.
Nothing is heard for 15 minutes, but then there’s the almost silent “phut phut” of a double tap, and Delta Force emerges with a dead rabbit, one hole in its chest, the other right between the eyes.
Finally, it’s the Harris County Sheriff’s Department. They jump into their cars, light up, the sirens are going, a helicopter zooms in overhead, dogs come out….
And an hour later they emerge with a squirrel. In little squirrel handcuffs, orange PJs and little squirrel leg irons.
The little squirrel is still alive, but has a black eye, a fat lip, it’s limping, one of its little arms is in a sling.
The instructor exclaims “Guys! That’s not a rabbit! That’s a squirrel!”
One of the deputies gives the squirrel a little kick in the back.
“Okay! Okay! I’m a f#$%ing rabbit!!”