The purple flower joke. (Very long)

Once there was a boy in 5th grade, and he really liked this girl (simp) and he knew that she liked the color purple.

So one day during recess he found these purple flowers and decided to make his move on the girl, so he walked up to her (with the flowers) and said “You are my purple flower” and the girl gasped. She preceded to slap him in the face and yell for a teacher. The girl told the teacher “He..! He called Me..!” She whispered in the teachers ear. The teacher gasped and preceded to slap the boy across the face.

The boy was quite literally dragged into the principal’s office, crying in confusion. Then he was forced into the chair in front of the principal. The principal looked at the boy with a stern and angry look and said “Did you call that girl a purple flower?” The boy said though tears “well.. ye.. yes I did.. but..” The principal cut him off and said “no buts, you’re expelled”.

The boy sobbed harder as he was thrown out of the school. He walked home saying “what did I do! What did I do!” He finally (after what seemed ages) reached his home he forced a smile knowing his own parents would understand. He walked into the door as his mom was cooking dinner she took one look at him with his face swollen and tears running down his cheek and ran to the door. She said in a worried voice “Honey! What happened! What’s wrong! Why are you home from school so early!” His dad hearing the commotion came down the stairs. “What’s happening!? Why is he crying?” he said to the boys mom. “I don’t know!” She responded. “What happened?” said the dad to the boy. The boy said “well… well I liked this girl a… at school…” “Yes…” his father said. “Well I knew she liked purple so.. I called her.. my purple flower” Both his father and his mother stopped wide eyed. “Get out” said the boys dad. “Wha- what?” Said the boy “Get out!” His father yelled.

His parents thew him out off the house with only a water bottle and a backpack with two sandwiches. The boy having been slapped, expelled, and disowned, was now back in tears walking down the street. He probably walked for 2 miles not knowing what to do. It was getting dark when a trucker pulled over and said “hey kid you need a ride?” The kid despite being taught not to talk to strangers nodded his head. The trucker now driving again said “Sooooo… Where’s your parents?” The boy just shook his head. “Why where you walking out here all by yourself?” The truck continued. The boy just shook his head harder. The trucker calmly pulled over and said “listen kid you’ve got a choice, you can tell me what happened or I can throw you out here.” The boy contemplated his opinions. Then said “you promise not to throw me out of I tell you?” The trucker said “yes I promise” and started driving again. Then the boy said reluctantly “Well I was at school and I liked this girl and I call her my purple flow-” but he was cut off as the trucker slammed the brakes grabbed hin by the shirt and threw his out of the truck onto the side of the highway.

This time the boy didn’t cry he just laid there for a few minutes thinking how cruel life was. He eventually got up and walked to the nearest gas station and realized his backpack was still in the truckers truck and that he was starving. He walked into the gas station grabbed some chips and a soda and put them on the counter. The woman at the counter eyed him then said “that’ll be $4.20 please” The boy emptyed his pockets and only some lent came out. The woman seeing his predicament said “I’ll pay for you if you tell me why you’re here and when your parents are.” The boy thinking he had nothing else to lose told the woman the whole story. The woman winced every time he said purple flower but listened without interrupting. He told her about getting slapped, expelled, disowned and thrown out a truck. When the boy was finished he said “please don’t kick me out” The woman said “I’m not going to kick you out dear, but you need help… professional help…” She told him “At the end of the street about two blocks away across the rail road there’s a huge purple house with a purple driveway and a purple garden with purple gnome ornaments. In the house there’s a purple lady. She will tell you everything.” When she was done she handed the boy his chips and his soda and didn’t speak another word.

The boy quickly ate his chips and ran down the street. He ran the first block. Then the next. Until he came to the railway. He thought “this is it, I’m going to learn why everyone hates purple flower” He slowly stepped across the tracks… And got hit by a train killing him and putting him out of his misery.

Moral of the story: look both ways kids.

submitted by /u/PotatomanEz12
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