The pilot, Captain Heelspurs, runs into trouble and realizes they’re going to crash. He races to the cabin, grabs a parachute, and bails, hollering, “There are three parachutes left. You guys are on your own.”
Angela Merkel says, “Since I’m the leader of the free world now, I need to survive.” She takes a parachute and exits the plane.
Donald Trump says, “Well, I’m the smartest man in the world, so I get a parachute too,” and off he goes.
The Pope tells the third grader, “Don’t worry, my child. I’ve lived a long and miraculous life. You take the parachute, and I’ll go down with the plane.”
“That’s okay, sir,” says the child. “There are still two parachutes left. The world’s smartest man just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack.”