A man was going to be going out of town for a while on a work trip, and wanted to make sure his wife didn’t cheat on him. So he decided to go to a sex toy shop to get her something to entertain herself with while he’s away. He enters the store and describes his predicament to the shopkeeper. “If you are interested, I have something in the back room that you may be interested in” says the man. The man agrees and him and the shopkeeper heads to the back where the shopkeeper retrieves an old cryptic looking box. He opens it to reveal a hand. “This is the magic hand” says the shopkeeper. “You have to be joking, right?” Says the man. “That’s just a mannequin hand!” The shopkeeper shakes his head and says to the man, “No no no sir, this is much more than that, this hand will come to life and do whatever you want, you simply give it a location to go. Care to try it in private?” So the man takes the hand into the bathroom, looks at the hand, and says “Magic hand, my dick!” All of a sudden, the hand comes to life, unzips the mans pants, and gives him a flattering rub down. The man rushes back to the shopkeeper and exclaims “I’ll take it!” So the man goes home, gives the gift to his wife, explains how it works, and then leaves for his trip. The wife, a bit cautious and doubtful, goes into the bedroom, removes her pants and underwear, and says “Magic hand, my pussy!” At once the hand leaps to life and gets to work. At first it’s wonderful, but after 3 hours the woman can’t take it. She’s tired, she’s had multiple orgasms, and she needs to get the hand out. She commands it to stop, but it won’t, so she decides to try to get to the hospital. She starts driving but finds it hard as she’s swerving trying to stay focused. Then she sees the sirens. She gets pulled over and an officer walks up to the window. “Ma’am you were swerving an awful lot back there, are you under the influence of any drugs or alcohol?” “Officer! Please help me, there’s a magic hand up my dress pleasuring me and it won’t stop, I just need to get to the hospital. “Yeah right!” Says the cop, smirking” “Sure lady, magic hand my ass!”
- What do you call a butt plug being used by a guy?
- A recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a beach towel at Cocoa Beach, Florida.