the joke my gay elderly neighbour always told me before he passed away

A man dies & goes to heaven. He’s welcomed by gorgeous clouds & beautiful warm white lights. As he’s looking around, he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns around to find God, smiling at him.

God promptly welcomes him to heaven with a hug & thanks him for his generosity on Earth. The man & God begin making small talk but one question keeps popping into the man’s mind. He’s very sheepish to ask such a question but he’s dying to know.

When there’s a pause in the conversation, the man looks at God nervously. “God? Can I ask you a question?”

“Why of course! I’ll do my best to answer it.”

“Well… during my time on Earth, I heard many different things about…” the man brought his voice down to a whisper. “Hell.”

God smiled & laughed. “No need to whisper my friend. It’s normal to have questions. Ask away.”

This made the man feel more comfortable. He took a breath and continued, “Well, I’ve heard that Hell is full of luxury & insane rewards. It’s a lavish life with all a man could ever want.”

God sighed & said “Listen, I’ll send you to Hell for ONE night. No more, no less. But you have to promise to come back up after that one night.”

The man agreed, I mean after all, he didn’t know what was in Hell. Maybe one night was more than enough exposure.

As nighttime rolled around, God asked the man if he was ready. The man nervously looked at God & replied with a quick nod.

God held out his hand & the man placed his palm against God’s. The man’s eyes closed & suddenly he heard loud music. Upon opening his eyes, he was shocked.

He was in Hell but it wasn’t what he was taught in Sunday school. There was no fire or torture. There was no screams of pain & despair. Instead, he was greeted with a paradise.

To his left was an endless bar full of the best alcohol, with a smoking hot bartender. To his right was a stage full of strippers motioning for him to come sit in a chair so they could dance on him. Straight ahead was a casino with slot machines as far as the eyes could see.

He didn’t know where to go first. Before he could make a decision, a stripper grabbed his wrist & led him to the stage. He was pushed into a chair & seven gorgeous women began dancing for him.

As he watched the ladies dance, the bartender brought him a bottle of his favourite liquor. He looked around to see beds full of people making love.

He spent the rest of the night winning hundreds of thousands of dollars, making love to the hottest women he could imagine, drinking the best liquor in the world, purchasing the most expensive clothes & finest jewelry, & meeting the most powerful people.

The man was overwhelmed with the absolute paradise of Hell. But upon glancing at his new Rolex on his wrist, he realized he needed to head back up to Heaven. He was escorted to an elevator, which would send him back up to Heaven.

Upon arrival, his fancy clothes were gone & the blasting music was just a memory. God greeted him with a handshake & opened his mouth to say something but the man interrupted.

“God, I don’t understand why Hell is so great?! They have strippers and slot machines and the best booze and the hottest women and the greatest clothing and the best entertainment. Why doesn’t Heaven have the same?”

God made a sarcastic face & tilted his head to the side. “Now why would I have all that for just the two of us?”

submitted by /u/thatpunkirishgirl
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