The day after xmas a man is incredibly drunk after promising his wife he wouldn’t drink, and stands up to go home …

SMASH .. He smashes face-first down on the ground, he’s so wasted. He grabs a bar stool and drags himself up to the bar, resting his weight against it for a second and makes a move for the door.

‘SMACK’ straight down onto the floor again, crawls to the door, and spend the next 50 minutes getting himself home using streetlights, phone booths, anything he can. Finally, crawling up the stairs, and just about manages to get himself into bed without waking the wife. He thinks he got away with it.

The next morning his wife wakes him: ‘You were drunk last night!’

‘How could you possibly know that?’ he spluttered

‘The barman phoned, you left your wheelchair in the bar’.

submitted by /u/britboy4321
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