The animals were bored.

Finally the lion had an idea. He tells the other animals how he’s seen the humans play a game called football. He proceeded to tell them how it’s played and explained its rules. This got them excited.

They chose their teams and went out to an open field. The lion’s team received, and were able to get two first downs and then had to punt. The mule punted and the rhino was deep back for the kick. He caught the ball, lowered his head and charged. He crushed a roadrunner, then two rabbits, gored a knocked out two cows and broke through, scoring a six. The lion’s team scored a touchdown and the mule kicked the extra point, leading 7-6 by the end of the first half.

In the locker room, the lion have a peptalk, “Look, we can win this. We just have to keep the ball away from the rhino when kicking.

The second half began. Just as the mule was about to kick off, the rhino’s team changed formation, and ball goes directly to the rhino, who lowers his head, and charges. He stomps down two gazelles, skewers a zebra. He’s almost at the line, but then, suddenly, he freezes in his tracks and drops down dead. The lion goes over to check what happened, and sees a small centipede beside the rhino’s dead body.

“Did you do this?”, asks the lion.


“Where the hell were you during the first half of the game?”, he asks.

“I was putting on my shoes”, replied the centipede.

submitted by /u/_Argentum
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