So I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink…

When a buff guy walks in staring down the entire bar. He walks up to me, grabs my drink and downs it. He slams the glass back onto the table so hard I thought it was gonna break . I looked in disbelief and he asks “What are you gonna do about it bitch?”

I start crying from being so intimidated and he says “Stop crying you pussy. I can’t stand to see a grown man cry.”

“This is the worst day of my life” I said. “I’m a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the car park, my car was stolen and I have no insurance. I left my wallet in the taxi I took home. I found my girlfriend in bed with my best friend and my dog attacked me.

“So I came to this bar to work up the courage to end it all. I buy a drink, drop some rat poison in it and wait for it to fully dissolve. Then you show up and down the whole thing anyway.”

“Enough about me. How’s your day going?”