So I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink…
When a buff guy walks in staring down the entire bar. He walks up to me, grabs my drink and downs it. He slams the glass back onto the table so hard I thought it was gonna break . I looked in disbelief and he asks “What are you gonna do about it bitch?”
I start crying from being so intimidated and he says “Stop crying you pussy. I can’t stand to see a grown man cry.”
“This is the worst day of my life” I said. “I’m a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the car park, my car was stolen and I have no insurance. I left my wallet in the taxi I took home. I found my girlfriend in bed with my best friend and my dog attacked me.
“So I came to this bar to work up the courage to end it all. I buy a drink, drop some rat poison in it and wait for it to fully dissolve. Then you show up and down the whole thing anyway.”
“Enough about me. How’s your day going?”
submitted by /u/rayven1lk