So a farmer wakes up one morning and looks out the window and sees his prize rooster laying in the middle of the barnyard stiff as a board with buzzards circling overhead.

With his only rooster dead, he decides to go to the market to buy a new rooster. At the market he sees a stall with a very nice looking rooster and he asks the seller how much he wants for the rooster and the seller tells him $1000. The farmer is absolutely shocked at this price, but the seller tells him, “This is the most amazing rooster you’ll ever see. If he doesn’t fuck all the hens, not only will I give you your $1000 back, I’ll pay you $5000.”

The farmer realizes that this is too good of a deal to pass up, so he decides to buy the rooster. When he brings it home, he sets it down in the barnyard and tells the rooster, “Listen here. I have a lot of hens, but there is no hurry. My last rooster worked himself too hard and died. So just take it easy and do your thing.”

The rooster is off like a bullet and he runs to the hen house and fucks every single hen. He dashes to the pond and fucks all the ducks. He’s just a blur around the farmyard fucking every animal he can. The farmer is in awe at the rooster and says to himself, “Wow, this really is the most amazing rooster ever!”

The next morning, he wakes up and sees the rooster laying in the middle of the barnyard, stiff as a board, with buzzards circling over head. “Oh no!” He yells and falls on his knees next to the rooster. “Why did you overwork yourself so hard! I told you to take it easy!”

The rooster opens one eye and points at the buzzards and whispers, “Shhh, They’re getting closer!”

submitted by /u/Slats7
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