As it’s now 4am he decided it was time to go home to his wife who he prayed was sleeping else he’d get in shit for being at the pub so late. So Sam went to stand up but fell over! Thinking to himself “my lord I’m drunk” he tried to stand up again but once again his legs gave out, he thought “screw it I’ll just crawl to the door, I’m sure the fresh air will help” so he did that, and once he got to the door he breathed in a lung full of fresh air and tried standing up, just to fall over once again! He kept trying, but everytime yielding the same results. So after a few tries he thought “God damn I’m drunk, I’ll just crawl home, thank God I only live 2 houses from the pub” so he crawls to his home and tries to open the door quietly, and pulls himself up and tries walking in…THUD…he falls over again “screw it I’ll just pull myself up the stairs and crawl in bed, I’m sure Jen is sleeping, I’ll be fine” So after struggling and finally closing the front door, he does just that, pulls himself up the railing of the stairs, crawls to his bedroom, pulls himself into bed and passes out. The next day hes woken by his wife, asking if he enjoyed his night out at the pub. He asked her how she knew? “Well I got a call from Tom, the barkeep, this morning. He told me you left your wheelchair at the pub.”
- I asked my dad how can i satisfy a girl with a small dick.
- A monkey walks up to the lion and starts taunting him