Pinocchio is in bed with his girlfriend doing what wooden boys do with their girlfriends.
When it is over, he notices she is crying. He asks her what’s wrong and she says : “Oh Pinocchio, you’re the sweetest lover in the world, but every time we have sex, I get splinters!”
Pinocchio is very upset and goes to see Geppetto to ask what he can do about this problem. Geppetto says : “Well, you know, my boy, maybe if you used a bit of sandpaper on your sensitive bits, it might help “smooth over the problem”, so to speak.”
A few days later, Geppetto is in the hardware store when he spies Pinocchio at the counter, ordering every type of sandpaper in existence. Fine sandpaper, coarse sandpaper, medium sandpaper, everything! Geppetto goes up to Pinocchio, pats him on the shoulder and says: “Heh, my boy, I bet you now have success with all the girls, eh?”
Pinocchio looks at Geppetto and replies: “GIRLS? GIRLS? WHO NEEDS GIRLS?”