One night, a drunk passed out on a park bench…

and a man walking by late at night saw the drunk there and stopped to check on him. The drunk showed signs of life and the pedestrian, feeling a little frisky, took advantage of the drunk, slipping a $5 bill in the drunk’s pocket afterwards.

The next day, when the drunk woke up, he found the $5 in his pocket and thought ‘SWEET’ as he took it straight to the liquor store to buy a fifth of cheap vodka. And again, the drunk passed out on the park bench. And again, the same man came walking by, saw the drunk on the park bench, had his way with him, and slipped a $5 bill into his pocket.

The next day, the drunk again bought a fifth of cheap vodka, passed out on the park bench, and again the pedestrian had his way with the man, except this time, feeling slight guilt for having his way with the drunk the past few nights, the pedestrian thought ‘you know, this guy has been so cool, letting me bang him these past few nights, I’m gonna give him a little extra’ and slipped him a $20.

The next day, when the drunk woke up, he immediately checked his pockets and when he found a $20 bill he beamed with glee and rushed to the liquor store.

He approached the counter and asked the clerk, “Can I get the best $20 bottle of vodka you have? The cheap stuff is killing my ass.”

submitted by /u/Bobbydeerwood
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