One day, as a horse is watching TV…

One day, as a horse is watching TV, a music video for “Purple Haze” by Jimi Hendrix comes on. The horse falls in love with the song. Then, he explores more of Jimi Hendrix’s discography and soon enough he’s a full on Jimi Hendrix fan.

After some time of being a Hendrix fan, the horse is inspired to be a guitarist. He gets all the money he has and buys a low-end used Stratocaster. He begins to learn how to play, and quickly enough, he knows how to play every Jimi Hendrix song. He can play every riff flawlessly.

Then the horse decides, “This isn’t enough”. He wants to start a band. He had heard about this chicken who is an absolute beast at bass. So he finds the chicken and he asks him to join him. The chicken, who has a deep passion for music, accepts gladly. The chicken begins to listen to Jimi Hendrix, and soon enough, he can play the bass of every song perfectly.

But the two needed more band members. There is an older cow on the farm who used to play drums. They ask him, “Would you like to join our band?” But the cow seemed sad. The cow said, “I would love to, but I sold my drums some time ago.” The horse and chicken decide to buy a drum set for the cow. After they presented him with the drum set, the cow jumped with joy. Nostalgia running through his veins, he gets on the drums and rips it. The rumors were true; the cow was a legendary drummer. Flattered by the horse and chicken’s efforts, the cow couldn’t help but join the band. The cow began to listen to Jimi Hendrix, and could play every one of his songs in no time.

Now they have three amazing musicians, but something was missing: vocals. None of them could sing. The chicken then remembers a pig from college who used to be in music class with him. After much searching, they found the pig’s whereabouts; it was a farm only 10 miles north! They travel to the other farm and find the pig. He is working on the field in his farm. They say to him, “We’re starting a band, but none of us can sing. Would you like to join us?” The pig looks at the ground under him, and then at his dirty hooves. He tells them, “Since I was a boy, my dream had always been to have a career in music. How I ended up here, I don’t know. I’ll join, because a career in music is my dream. No matter the risks, I’m on board.” And so, the pig joined, and listened to Jimi Hendrix, and learned every lyric to every Jimi Hendrix song.

Thus started the beginning of the Barnyard Bros. At first, they were just a Jimi Hendrix cover band. They received a nice, modest following of fans. They could emulate the Jimi Hendrix Experience flawlessly. The resemblance was uncanny. They were starting to get the ball rolling.

Then the horse, the one who started it all, said again, “This isn’t enough”. They decided that if they were going to be big, it had to be their own music they were playing. They started to write their own music, and eventually recorded their first studio album. And everyone loved it. Their fan base was growing faster then they could ever imagine. Their album sold over a million copies. Number 1 on iTunes. Number 1 on Google Play. Number 1 played album on Spotify. They were everywhere. They were the most popular band in the world.

Then one day horse’s old farmer gets a call. It’s from Jimmy Kimmel’s manager. Kimmel wants them on the show. The farmer calls up the horse and tells him of this opportunity. The horse is ecstatic! He and his band get to be on TV! What the horse did not know is that his farmer is a huge Jimmy Kimmel fan. It’s been his dream to attend the show, but he hasn’t had the finances to do so. He asks the horse, “Please, can you find it in your heart to take me?” The horse loved his farmer very much. His farmer was the one who gave him his job. Had it not been for that job, he would have never got that guitar, never started a band, and never would have been in the position he was in. The horse then agrees to take the farmer to see Jimmy Kimmel, and decides to give a little more. An all expenses paid, week long trip to LA, so the farmer can enjoy the city after he goes to the show. The horse flies to LA a week before the rest to finalize the deal. He meets with Kimmel and his manager and sings the deal. It’s official; the Barnyard Bros will be on the Jimmy Kimmel show.

Soon after, the rest of the band and the farmer get on their flight to LA. But tragedy strikes. An engine fails. The plane is losing stability, but can still fly. In a few minutes, the other engine begins failing. The plane begins to plummet. The plane nose dives into the ground and crashes. There are no survivors. Everyone, the chicken, the cow, the pig, and the farmer, gone.

The horse hears about the news, and begins to break down in tears. “This is my fault.” he said to himself. The horse blamed himself for their deaths because he had started this band. They wouldn’t be on that plane if he hadn’t had the stupid idea to get the band together and go on the Kimmel show. He cancelled his appointment to be on the Jimmy Kimmel Show, as the Barnyard Bros were no more.

The horse, seeing as his friends were no longer alive, his dreams of a band shot to hell, starts going into a downward spiral. He starts taking whatever he can get. Drugs, booze… he did it all. He goes to a bar in LA and tells the bartender to just leave the bottle. The bartender looks at the horse. The horse is visibly upset. Now the bartender is a nice guy. He doesn’t like seeing people in a bad mood and always does his best to help.

So the bartender approaches the horse, and asks him, “Hey, why the long face?”

submitted by /u/aedroogo
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