Once there was a polar bear named Jerry.

Jerry hated living at the north pole and constantly bitched about it to the other polar bears.

“It’s too fucking cold here” he said. “The water is all frozen, there’s nothing to eat but penguins and I’m constantly covered in fucking snow”.

The other polar bears rolled their eyes and told Jerry to leave if he thought there was someplace better.

“I’m going south” said Jerry. “See you suckers later”. And he left to find a better home.

After weeks of travel, Jerry finally arrived to a place where there was no snow. Astonished, he came to a clearing where he found a river that was not frozen and it was filled with fish.

“This is it!” he said aloud. “This is paradise!”.

“Isn’t it great?” said another voice. Jerry turned around and standing there was a brown bear.

“We have a wonderful home here. You are more than welcome to stay” said the brown bear.

“No thanks” said Jerry. And he turned and left back to the north pole.

When he got back to the north pole, the other polar bears crowded around him and asked him what he saw.

“Did you find some place better” they asked.

“Well” said Jerry, “I found a place where there wasn’t any snow and there were rivers filled with fish”.

“My god” said the other polar bears. “Why the hell did you come back?”

“Well” said Jerry, “it all seemed pretty great. But then this polar bear came out of the woods covered in shit“.

submitted by /u/HomelessSock
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