Once, I met a pirate with a peg leg, a hook hand, and an eye patch

I asked him “What happened to your leg?”

“Arr,” he responded, “One day I was in a battle at sea and a cannon ball blew my leg right off. I cut the throat of the man who fired the shot though.”

“That sounds awful. What happened to your hand?”

“Arr, one day at sea I was knocked off the ship into shark infested waters and a great white bit my hand right off. I stabbed him with a harpoon after that though.

“That sounds terrible. What happened to your eye?”

“Arr, one day I was near port and a ton of seagulls were flying overhead. When I looked up into the sky, one of them pooped and it landed right in my eye.”

“That’s…really gross. But why would you lose your eye from that?”

“Arr, it was the first day with the hook.”

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