Thursday, July 18, 2019
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  • My girlfriend said, “You act too much like a detective . I want to split up.”
  • A one-eyed guy named Wazowski found a magic lamp
  • What is it called when you poke your eye while putting on safety glasses?
  • The internet connection in my farm was really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
  • A proctologist gets sick of his medical career and decides it’s time for a change. He does a bit of research and settles on trying his hand at being a mechanic. He attends mechanic school diligently and pays attention in the hopes of being the best mechanic in town.

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My mother used to tuck me in every night

January 9, 2018 Editor's Pick 0 Comment

She always wanted a girl 🙁

submitted by /u/Cunt_Puffin
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  • ← Accordion to a recent survey…
  • Oprah could be the next President. →

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Recent Posts

  • My girlfriend said, “You act too much like a detective . I want to split up.”
  • A one-eyed guy named Wazowski found a magic lamp
  • What is it called when you poke your eye while putting on safety glasses?
  • The internet connection in my farm was really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
  • A proctologist gets sick of his medical career and decides it’s time for a change. He does a bit of research and settles on trying his hand at being a mechanic. He attends mechanic school diligently and pays attention in the hopes of being the best mechanic in town.
  • I started dating a blind woman. It’s fantastic.
  • A magic genie tells Tom, “I can make anything of yours disappear!”
  • I just graduated from university and I’m only 4!
  • The first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France…
  • We kicked the drummer out if the band because his timing was awful.
  • Do you know where in the hospital the invisible man can’t hide?
  • Why is Z the only letter in the alphabet you should be friends with?
  • Today a young man was detained after being caught red handed with a giant magnifying glass. He’d been focusing the light to a small dot on to peoples bottoms until they caught fire.
  • Irony of life!
  • I built an entire car out of spaghetti just to impress this girl.
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