after 20 years on the job the local postman is about to retire and on this last scheduled delivery run he finds himself beset with thankful friends and neighbours, all of whom show their appreciation of his years of service. loaded down with gift baskets, wine, flowers and thank you cards he reaches the last house on the run, owned by an incredibly buxom and attractive blonde, who was always friendly enough, and her very wealthy husband, whom the postman was sure never really liked him. as he pulls up he notices that the husbands car is already gone and this brightens the postman’s mood a little as he knows he won’t need to deal with the mans snide comments. ringing the doorbell and awaiting the wife’s response the postman is nearly struck down with shock as the woman opens the door wearing nothing but a smile and, grabbing the postman by the tie, pulls him into the house, leads him up to her bedroom, and proceeds to fuck his brains out for the next half hour. still in a state of confusion but exceptionally pleased with how the last day of his carrier has gone, he is lead by the still naked woman to the kitchen where he is presented with a crisp, new $1 note and told to take a seat at the table. after a few minutes the woman, still displaying her ample assets serves the postman a full breakfast and asks what he’d like to drink, needing something to calm his nerves a little he asks for a scotch, one is poured and at last the woman puts on a dressing gown and sits down to breakfast with the postman. having finished off half the whisky he was poured the postman summons up enough courage to try and put his confusion to rest. trying very hard to keep his eyes on the wife’s face and off her cleavage he says ” Ma’am please do not think I am in anyway ungrateful for what you have just done for me, this has been far and away the best retirement present I’ve received today but I have to ask, why? you’re a married woman , and beyond that you are married to a man who really doesn’t like me and would, I’m sure, be very upset at the level of err,… hospitality, you’ve just shown me. and after all I am a simple postman. what did I do deserve the pleasures you’ve just given me?” The woman smiles sweetly and replies ‘well when I found out you were retiring I felt we should do something special for you to mark the occasion, I brought this idea up to my husband and asked what we should do to thank you, he said ‘fuck the postman! give him a dollar’ after a moments pause she adds ‘the breakfast was my idea”
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