Knock knock. “Who’s there?” Pizza. “Pizza who?”

Pete’s a fucking asshole. He promised me that he would cover my shifts during this outbreak, but apparently we weren’t eligible for government benefits due to some shady shit in his past. So instead of handling it like a GOOD manager HUMAN BEING, he decides to double up my shifts. Which, of course, forces me to deal with the goddamn apocalypse in a double-ought V-Dub Bug.

I just don’t feel safe constantly knocking on total strangers’ doors, you know? What if this door finally unleashes that freshman frat-boy who decided to bury his face in some COVID Cancun coot-coot, then tries to pull that slick I’m shaking your hand, but actually giving you a tip move…like, why are you doing that?! Who the fuck are you keeping it a secret from? I’m your delivery driver, of COURSE you should fucking tip me! Or maybe next time, put the tip on your card online, because why the FUCK are you still making people handle cash?!

Anyway, sorry to rant at you like that. Your pizza is here.

submitted by /u/KairuSmairukon
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