Jesus & Moses in a boat

so jesus and moses were rowing a boat fishing for supper and after no action Jesus was getting bored and he was like ‘hey moishe, moishe–check it out, you think i can still walk on water? you think i still have it? how much you wanna bet i can still walk on water?’ Moses says ‘i’ll take any bet you put up.’ he says half serious. so jesus steps out of the boat and stands up on the water outside one foot at a time. he straightens up, takes one step, takes another, turns around, smiles, and then–

—he plummets to the bottom of the lake! he’s drowning! bubbles are coming up there’s nothing at the surface, so Moses breathes in and takes one of the oars and dips it into the water–he holds his arms out wide and two giant waves burst up and part the lake in front of the boat, he breathes out–and all the snapping turtles and perch and bass and sunnies are floppin around at the bottom of the lake floor with jesus right in the middle–he’s coughing up algae and snot, getting his legs caught in the muck up to his knees, a couple of fishing lures hooked to his robe in different places. moses smiles, asks god for a little umph and is able to lift jesus back up with the oar’s power into the boat, he returns the water back to normal, gently–all the animals are fine.

moses sits jesus down on the middle bench. jesus is hacking and burping with his head in his hands and when he’s done he yells ‘what the hell happened man?! what the hell?! i’m the son of god i am the lord of heavens & earth what is this shit?’ moses shakes his head and he says

MY FRIEND, YOU DIDN’T HAVE HOLES IN YOUR FEET LAST TIME!

submitted by /u/WitchdoctorSleep
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