Was rereading Harry Potter Book 2 and got to the Japanese Golfer joke line. Googled it. Enjoy, r/Jokes.
An American, a German and a Japanese man are golfing one day and, at the 3rd hole, they hear a phone ring. The American excuses himself, puts his left thumb to his ear, his left pinky finger to his mouth and proceeds to have a telephone conversation. When he is done, he looks at the other two and says “Oh, that’s the latest American technology in cell phones. I have a chip in my thumb and one in my pinky finger and the antenna is in my hat. Great stuff, eh?” They continue golfing until the 9th hole when, again, they hear a phone ring. The German tilts his head to one side and proceeds to have a conversation with someone in German. When he finishes, he explains to the other two that he has the latest in German technology cell phones. “A chip in my tooth, a chip in my ear and the antenna inserted in my spine. The wonders of German know-how!” At the 13th hole, a phone rings again and upon hearing it, the Japanese man disappears into some nearby bushes. The German and the American look at each other and then walk over to peek into the bushes. There they found the Japanese man, squatting with his pants down around his ankles. “What on earth are you doing?!” asked the American. The Japanese fellow looked up and without pause, replied “Waiting for a fax”
credit to a few people on r/HarryPotter