It’s an old man’s birthday

He’s wandering around the nursing home in his birthday hat, blowing his noisemaker, laughing, and loving life.

He sees one of the other residents and walks into his room.

“Hey, Carl! Guess how old I am today!”

Grumpy old Carl doesn’t even look up. “No. Go away.”

“C’mon, ya old grump, it’s my birthday! Guess how old I am today!”

Carl still hasn’t looked up. “I don’t know, 100.”

“Nope, I’m 95! Wheeeee!” And he shuffles off.

He continues down the hall to the next room and sees another resident.

“Hey, Martha! Guess how old I am today!”

Martha squints through her thick glasses and says, “Okay, come closer.”

The old man steps up to Martha and Martha reaches her hand down his pajama pants. She fondles his old balls for about 30 seconds, pulls her hand back out and says, “You’re 95.”

The old man says, “How in the hell did you know that?”

“I heard you tell Carl.”

submitted by /u/evilholographlincoln
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