In the beginning, when Man was first created, all the members of the body held a meeting to decide who should be in charge.

The brain said that it should be in charge because it had the power of decision making and so controlled what everything else in the body did.

The eyes pointed out that they were the ones who saw everything, including whatever objectives the brain was going to decide to pursue, so they should be in charge.

The arsehole tried to say something at this point but was interrupted:

The ears said that they should be in charge because not even the eyes could look in all directions at once, whereas the ears were vigilant no matter which way the body was facing, and could even warn of danger when the eyes were shut.

The heart said this was all very well, but without the tireless work it did in bringing blood to all parts of the body neither the brain nor the eyes nor the ears would last half a minute, so the heart should be in charge.

Again the arsehole started to speak but was shouted down.

The stomach pointed out that it had to process food before the heart would have anything worth carrying around, so it ought to be in charge.

The hands said that they were the ones responsible for picking up whatever the brain decided on and the eyes saw, and without them the stomach would never get anything, so they should be in charge.

The legs commented that they were the ones actually responsible for taking the body from place to place, so they ought to be in charge.

The arsehole made a final attempt to put its case, but everyone else told it to piss off and shut the fuck up.

This upset the arsehole so it decided to go on strike and see how everyone else liked it. Pretty soon the brain was feeling faint, the eyes had spots before them, the ears were ringing, the heart was fluttering, the stomach was queasy, the hands were clammy and the legs were wobbly. They all asked the arsehole very politely to get back to work, but the arsehole said that they’d had their chance to be nice about it and there was no way it was going back to work unless it could be in charge. And while the other parts of the body tried to hold out, it soon became clear that unless the arsehole got its way things were going to just get worse and worse, so eventually there was nothing for it but to give in.

And from that day to this, whenever there is a body or organisation of any sort, there’s always an arsehole in charge.

submitted by /u/Gil-Gandel
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