I’d had enough. I decided to kill my wife.

But I couldn’t do it myself, so I asked around. I eventually heard of a big guy named Arty who kills people for $1. All you have to do is give him a picture and place of work. I found him, gave him the dollar and a picture of my wife.

“She works at Walmart”, I said.

He just shook his head, got up, and left. Just like that. I wasn’t there, but people say he grabbed her by the throat and started choking her. It wasn’t long before a security guard rushed over. Arty was so big he grabbed both of them. One neck per hand. And killed them both.

It’s hard to believe but it’s true. They even ran a story about it in the local paper. “Arty chokes 2 for $1 at Walmart”.

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