I moved into a neighborhood down near a movie theater once

It was pretty nice. Everyone was friendly and it wasn’t even that expensive. I thought I could probably live there for a little while untill I got a knock on the door from a neighbor shortly after I moved in.

He heard that I was new, and wanted to let me know something about my next door neighbor.

Apparently he has this weird fetish for cinemas, which is why he lives here. He’s been arrested numerous times for masterbating publicly in front of the one cinema that I lived near. His latest attempt was around last year, and he’s still serving his sentence. He’s gonna be released at the end of the spring however, and just wanted me to know in case I go to see any movies there soon.

“Well what’s he gonna do whoever he gets out of jail?” I ask him. He then puts a hand on my shoulder and says

“Coming this summer to a theater near you.”

(I’m sorry if this is bad I thought of it at 2 AM and couldn’t get it out of my head)

submitted by /u/nick-swegins
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