How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

A few other excellent puns:

He wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then he changed his mind.

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? – Ireland. It’s Dublin every day.

A supercilious crook going downstairs? Oh you mean, A condescending con, descending.

Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.

England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn’t find any.

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran.

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

‘I have a split personality’ said Tom, being Frank.

What did one flag say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.

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