Three long-time servicemen are about to retire, and they are told that as a reward for many years of great service, they’re are going to be given an amount of money equal to the distance between any two points on their body, in inches, times a thousand.
The colonel, being a tall man, picks the distance from his toes to the top of his head. Military officials measure him, and he walks away with a hefty sum of $75,000.
The general thinks for a bit, then raises his arm above his head, measuring from his toes to the tip of his fingers. With a smug smile, he walks out with nearly $90,000.
The sergeant is the last one and he says “measure from the tip of my cock to my left nut”.
-“Are you sure?”, he was asked. “Even if your manhood is impressive, surely you can make more money if you pick something else”.
The sergeant repeats, “From the tip of my cock to my left nut”. The officials shrug, and tell him to drop his pants.
-“What the hell is this?!”, they shout. “Where is your left testicle??”.
The sergeant smirks, “Vietnam”.