There is terrible accident in ISS, leaving only one American astronaut alive. All the communications are dead, but he has lots of food, water and oxygen to survive. Finally after two years he is able manufacture escape pod and lands in rural Texas.
He makes his way to closest town and enters first bar, because he needs a beer and news. He orders a beer from a bartender and asks what’s happening around the world.
“Nothing much, peace everywhere and everyone is doing just great.”
“Really? Is war over in Syria too? “
“Yes, of course, our president did end that, like all the other wars.”
“All wars? Also the one in Ukraine?”
“Yes, that was the very first war the president did end.”
“Well, that sound great. Thanks for the news, how much is the beer?”