Harry gets pulled over on the highway for speeding

Harry: Is there a problem, officer?

Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone

Harry: No, I was only going 65 tops

Harry’s girlfriend: Oh Harry, you were going at least 80

Harry gives his girlfriend a nasty look

Cop: I’m also writing you a ticket for that broken taillight

Harry: I didn’t even know my taillight was broken

Harry’s girlfriend: Oh Harry, you’ve known about your taillight since we started dating

Harry gives his girlfriend another nasty look

Cop: I’m also writing you a citation for not wearing your seatbelt

Harry: I just unbuckled my seatbelt when you started walking to my car

Harry’s girlfriend: Oh Harry, you never wear your seatbelt

Harry: Bitch, if you don’t shut the fuck up, I swear to God that I’ll smash your stupid face into the concrete?

Cop: Ma’am, does your boyfriend always talk to you like this?

Harry’s girlfriend: Nope, only when he’s drunk

submitted by /u/AntiHeroLBC
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