Google pizza

  • Hello! Gordon’s pizza?
  • No sir it’s Google pizza.
  • Ah okay, wrong number
  • No sir, Google bought Gordon’s
  • Okay. Then can I order please…
  • Do you want the usual?
  • The usual? You know my usual?
  • According to our caller ID, the last 12 times you ordered pizza with cheese, sausage, and thick crust
  • OK! Yes, that’s it…
  • May I suggest you add ricotta, arugula and sun-dry tomato?
  • No, I don’t want vegetables
  • But your cholesterol is very high
  • How do you know that?
  • Through your opt-in to our daily specials email. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
  • Okay, but I do not want extras on my pizza, I am medicated for the condition
  • You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Meds4U dot com
  • I bought more from another supplier
  • It’s not showing on your credit card
  • I paid in cash
  • But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
  • I have other source of cash
  • This is not showing as per your 2017 Tax return, unless you got it from an undeclared income source -WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I’m going to an Island without internet or phone and no one to spy on me
  • I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it expired 5 weeks ago..

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