Johnny died and arrived in Hell.
He was met by the Devil and was told that in the new kinder, gentler, more customer focused Hell, each person is offered three choices of torture.
The Devil explained that these tortures run in 1,000-year cycles and you could pick which cycle to begin with.
The Devil took Johnny to the first room where a man was hung up by his feet and was being whipped with chains.
Johnny said he did not think that was where he wanted to start.
They proceeded to the next room where a man was hung up by his arms and was being whipped by a cat-o-nine-tails.
Johnny also declined this form of torture.
The third room had an old man strapped to the wall naked, and a very beautiful young blonde woman was performing oral sex upon him.
Johnny told the Devil this is more like it, and this was the one he wanted.
The Devil said,
– “Are you sure? It lasts for a thousand years!”
Johnny assured him this was the punishment he wanted.
So, the Devil walked over to the young blond woman and said … …
– “You can go now; I’ve found your replacement.”