He went to one of the finer stores in town and asked to see some of their nightgowns. When the salesperson brought out the first item he asked how much it was and was told $100. “I’d like something a little more sheer” said the gentleman. The salesperson brought out a second item, whereupon the gentleman asked the price and was told it was $250. “That’s still not sheer enough”, replied the man – “bring me out the sheerest nightgown that you have.”. When the third nightgown arrived and he saw how thin it was he ponied up the $500 that was on the price tag. When he brought it home he excitedly asked his wife to try it on. She obliged and headed upstairs to change. She noticed the sales receipt for $500 in the box and thought to herself, “My goodness-this is so sheer that I doubt he’ll even be able to tell if I’m wearing it. I’ll just stand naked at the top of the stairs, return the item and spend the $500 on something that I really like.” She shed all of her clothes and headed out to the top of the stairs, calling to her husband, twirling around and asking him what he thought of the nightgown. The husband looked at her for a second and then replied, “Well shit, for $500 you think they would’ve at least ironed it first!”.
- A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law, unfortunately killing her instantly.
- Police officer: “I’m here to inform you that your son burned down the school”