An Englishman and an Irishman go out drinking one night….

The Englishman says to the Irishman, ” listen paddy I wish I could stay out drinking with you but I’m skint.”

Padd y says, “aye George, I just spent my last few quid too…. but I’ve got an idea: go up and order two more drinks and a sausage and mash and tell them to put it on a tab.”

George says, “what the fuck are you talking about Paddy? We’re both skint!”

“Just do it yeh fanny!”

So George gets the drinks and the meal and they both down their drinks. Then paddy picks up one of the sausages and sticks it down his pants and through his zipper.

Paddy says to George, “now suck on this sausage”

“No fucking way!” Protests George.


So George sucks the sausage and the barman sees and shouts,

“Oi! get the fuck out of my pub right now!”

They hurry out the pub without paying, and burst out laughing as soon as they’re out the door.”

George says, “hold onto that sausage and we can hit every pub in town!”

A few hours go by and they go from pub to pub without paying for a single drink.

At the end of the night they’re both crying laughing and George says to Paddy, “I cant believe that worked in every pub!”

Paddy says back, “I cant believe you didnt notice I left the sausage at the first one!”

submitted by /u/KindlyFriedChickpeas
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