After checking in, he is given the keys to his suite. As he goes to his new suite butt naked, he sees a gorgeous 20 year-old blonde heading his way, and immediately gets an erection.
“Did you call for me?” asks the blonde.
“What do you mean?” asks the man.
“We have rules here that if a man gets an erection, it means he called for a girl” says the blonde and immediately takes him away to her suite where they make passionate love.
Later in the day, after taking a swim in the resort’s pool, he is walking over to the locker room when he suddenly passes gas. Immediately, a sweaty hairy man appears out of nowhere and asks, “did you call me?”
“No…” stammers the old guy, “what do you mean.”
The rules here are if a man farts it means he called for me. The hairy man then spins the old man around, bends him over and screws him in the ass.
After the encounter, he immediately runs to reception and asks the woman behind the counter to give him his money back.
“Didn’t you like it here?” asks the receptionist.
The old man replies, “Listen here, lady. I’m 75 years old. I get a boner once every three months and fart 20 times a day. Now give me my money back!”