A young man is heading home from a big night in the town.
As he walks through a seedier part of the city, he spots a lady of the night who is the most beautiful woman he has ever set his eyes upon.
He wanders over to her and quietly asks, “How much?”
The sex worker turns and says,” sorry honey, but I am out of action. Bad case of warts.”
Not to be put off, the guy thinks and says “I’ll pay double for anal.”
The woman turns and says “no can do. Collapsed colon and it only exports, no deliveries.”
He thinks again, and lightens up as he jumps to his next question.
“What about a blowie?” He asked.
“Nope. Mouth ulcers,” she replies.
Stumped he rolls his last chance.
“How about a handjob?”
“Sorry hon. I have terrible dermatitis and my hands are all split.”
Gutted, the young guy turns and is about to walk off when the hooker says,” actually, there is one thing we can do, but it’s a bit out there.”
The guys spins around and quickly says,” anything, I’ll do anything just to be with you.”
“Okay,” she says and leads him down a dark alley.
She bends down in front of him and asks him,” are you ready?”
“Shit yeah,” the guy replies, barely able to contain himself.
And with that she moves her hand to her face AND POPS OUT A FALSE EYE!
“What the fuck!?!???” The guy stammers.
“It’s okay,” the hooker says.
“Trust me, just pop your knob in.”
Pants around his ankles, the guy looks around, sees no one and thinks “fuck it. I’ll give it a try.”
He slides it in and it is the most magnificent feeling he has ever felt.
He stands their for what feels like eternity before it all becomes to much and he pops his load.
Panting and covered in a sheen of sweat, the guy looks down at the hooker and says,” that was amazing. Can we do that again soon?”
She replies,” Sure….
“I’ll keep an eye out for you.”