A young man goes to confession

He says “Father, I have sinned.”

The priest asks him “Tell me son, what have you done?”

The young man admits “I’ve just cheated on my girlfriend”

Priest “Oh, son, that’s not good, but we all stray from God’s path occasionally”

“But Father, that’s not the worst of it. They were twin sisters”

“Son, I can see you’re feeling guilty, but I’m sure you can atone…”

“I’m not done, Father. They were only 18”

“Son, legally and in the eyes of God…”

“They were virgins, from Sweden. Blonde. They barely spoke a word of English and I took advantage of them!”

The priest is getting a little flustered now “Ok, well, it’s going to take some serious prayer and reflection on your sins to make your peace with the Lord.”

The young man continues “But Father, it was in my girlfriend’s bed, while she was at the hospital visiting her sick mother”

Before the priest can say anything, the young man continues:

“It went on for hours. My God, they were so beautiful, I took them in turns, and both at the same time, it was wild. We fucked in the bed, on the floor, in the shower, on the kitchen bench, and then when my girlfriend walked in, I just kept going. They were insatiable…”

The priest, now getting upset, says “Son, stop!”

But the man continues “…I got it on video, so I can keep it for whenever I want to see it, and I can show it to my friends, and hey, do you want to see it?”

The priest yells “Stop! No! I don’t want to see it! Goddamit, what kind of Catholic are you?!”

The man replies “I’m not a Catholic”

Perplexed, the priest asks “…Then why come to church, why are you in confession? Why are you telling me all this?”

“Dude… I’m telling everyone!”

submitted by /u/The_Passive_Fist
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