A rich single man is having a drink by himself in a bar

when a gorgeous woman enters. Everyone is staring at her. The guy thinks to himself, “there’s no way in hell I have a chance with her.” But, lo and behold, she sits down next to him and has a drink. The two get to talking, and the man learns that she is a hooker. A few drinks in, the man says, “I’m wealthy and single, how much would it be for a hand-job?”

The woman replies, “Do you see the rings on my fingers?” Holding up her hand, the man sees a beautiful diamond ring on each finger. “Honey, I’m the best in the business. I’ve gotten each ring from all the money I’ve gotten from giving handjobs. It will cost ya $1,000.”

The man replies, “That’s outrageous… but I’m wealthy and single, so what the hell.”

The man agrees, so the two go to the alley behind the bar and take care of business. They man returns, and agrees that it was the best he ever had. A couple drinks later, the man asks how much a blowjob costs. The woman replies, “Do you see those corvettes outside?”

The man looks out the window to see one in each color. “Honey, I’m the best in the business. I’ve gotten those corvettes with all the money I’ve made from giving blowjobs. It’ll cost you $5,000.”

“Holy shit! Well… I’m wealthy and single, so sure.” So the two go back outside and take care of business. Reentering, the man says, “Wow, you were right. That was the best I ever had.” A few more drinks later, the man exclaims, “Fuck it, I want some pussy. How much would it be?” The woman replies, “Honey, look outside the window and across the street and tell me what building you see.”

The man answers, “Why, that’s the empire state building!”

The woman says, “Honey, If I had a pussy, I would own that building.”

submitted by /u/ayeroflmao
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