A pastor decides to blow off his Sunday service and go golfing.

“See that?” St Peter says to God, pointing down at the errant preacher teeing up at the first hole.

“Yup” says God, “I’ll fix him, the little truant!”

WIth that, God waves his arm, and the vicar tees off.

The ball hits a tree, flies straight up in the air, where it’s caught by a seagull, which flies a few hundred yards with it before dropping it onto the #1 green, about a yard from the hole. At this point a large toad emerges from the hole, dances a passable impression of Michael Flatley’s Riverdance finale (for a toad), then grabs the ball and disappears back down the hole.

St Peter: ” I thought you were going to punish him?”

God: ” I just did, who’s ever going to believe him?”