A mod from r/jokes walks into a bar

And orders a drink. Whilst drinking it, a massively scarred Asian dude stumbles in the bar.

“What happened?” The man asks as he downs his drink.

“There’s a dragon 10km east from here.” The Asian dude rasps before passing out.

So the Man gets on his bike and travels 10km east and sure enough there’s a dragon. It’s fire I swear hot enough to melt mountains but eventually the man manages to defeat it. A Hawaiian monk approaches the man.

“You seem very strong, do you mind helping me?” The Hawaiian monk asks.

“Sure, what do you need?” The man replies. The monk tells him of a hidden temple in the desert. So the man hires a private jet and flies into the desert where he meets a sphinx. The sphinx asks him a riddle.

“What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon and three in the evening?”

After 13 hours the man figures out the answer, a human. The sphinx leads him to the temple. As the man goes through the temple he has to kill hundreds of penguins but finally he makes it to the top floor where there is a red jewel.

He picks up the jewel and a spaceship appears. Bored, the man gets into the spaceship and flies through the galaxy, exploring a ton of planets including Namek and Saturn.

Finally the man finds a tiny planet with the surface area of a football pitch. He sets foot on it when a tree ambushes him.

“Hello, will you take me to earth?” The tree asks. “Sure.” The man says.

“You’re a great dude so I’ll grant you one wish.” The tree promises.

“Could you make me a watch that measures time 100% accurately wherever I am?” The man asks.

“Do you realise how advanced that technology would need to be. It would need to take into account relativity, gravity, your velocity and tons of other factors.” The tree moans.

“Ok, can you help me understand meta jokes?” The man says.

“What kind of watch again?” The tree asks.

submitted by /u/BleachIsRacist
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