A man with a horny wife is going on a long business trip

Since she was so horny, he decided to buy her a sex toy, so she’d have something to distract her while he was a away, instead of cheating.

He goes to the sex shop and tells the shopkeeper his situation. The shopkeeper assured him that he had just the thing. He pulls out a wooden box with carvings on it and opens it to reveal a wooden dildo. The man; somewhat disappointed, asked what was so special. The shopkeeper commands “Voodoo penis; the door!”. The dildo levitates, rams itself into the door and begins to vibrate. The door is falling off it’s hinges and the shelves start rattling. “Voodoo penis; stop and return”. In amazement the man buys the wooden dildo and takes it home to show his wife. Once home he explains to his wife that whenever she’s feeling horny to just open the box and say “Voodoo penis; my pussy” and to let it do it’s thing.

A few days pass and the man is has been away for a few days. The wife eyes the wooden box and decides to give it a try. “Voodoo penis; my pussy”. Right away the dildo does it’s thing and the women continues to have orgasm after orgasm. After a while she feels she’s had enough and tries to pull the dildo out. She begins to panic as she can’t figure out how to make it stop. She eventually gives up and decides to head to the hospital. Along the way she’s trying to figure out, how to explain this to the doctors, all the while, trying to keep her composure as the car swerves all over the road. A cop eventually notices and pulls her over. Desperately, the woman tries her best to explain the situation to the cop. The cop just stares at her and replies “Yah right. Voodoo penis my ass”…

submitted by /u/Juggletrain
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